What is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)?
When many people think of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, they think of the stereotypical compulsive handwashing and a fear of germs, similar to what the character Jack Nicholson portrays in the movie As Good as It Gets. While this portrayal is a common form of OCD, many people struggle with OCD symptoms that have less visible symptoms – which creates an internal struggle that may not be so obvious to others.
People with OCD have persistent intrusive thoughts that create a significant amount of anxiety. In order to reduce the amount of anxiety these thoughts cause, they engage in certain behaviors. These behaviors may provide relief from the anxiety, but it is only temporarily. Not all of these behaviors are outward action behaviors, like washing your hands excessively, locking doors repeatedly, or checking the stove to make sure it’s turned off. Some of these behaviors can be less obvious, like seeking reassurance from others, trying to rationalize with your thoughts, or trying to distract yourself until the thoughts go away.
Now Introducing the OCD bully...
I teach my clients who struggle with these types of intrusive thoughts to think of it like there is a bully living in their mind. The bully identifies something in you that it recognizes as an insecurity or fear, and then uses that information to pick on you.
For example, a common OCD fear is getting sick and/or dying. The OCD bully might say to you randomly “You’re probably dying of cancer.” To be clear, we all have random intrusive thoughts. Someone without OCD would likely have that random thought, say to themselves “Whoa, that was weird!” and then move on with their day without thinking about it again.
Someone with OCD tendencies would likely experience a significant amount of anxiety after having that thought and might engage in some of the behaviors mentioned above. If seeking reassurance, they may reach out to their doctor or a loved one to get confirmation that they’re healthy, or they might google symptoms of different types of cancer. If they tend to try to rationalize with their thoughts, they might argue back “I don’t have any family history of cancer and I live a healthy lifestyle, I’m sure everything is fine.” Or they may distract themselves with substances, work, school, or social media to help quiet the thoughts.
Tackling Your OCD With a Different Approach
Again, these methods do typically work, but only in the short-term, and over time tend to actually increase the amount of anxiety experienced when the thought reoccurs. If you want to tackle your OCD bully, you’ve got to try to take a different approach. I try to help my clients think about how they would address an actual bully that is picking on them in person.
Let’s pretend the bully said to you, “You’re a nerd”. Seeking reassurance from your Mom, rationalizing by saying “I have three friends who all think I’m cool” or trying to ignore the bully are all tactics that would likely encourage the bully to keep on picking on you. One of the best ways to combat a bully in person is to act as if you are not bothered by the mean things they are saying to you. It’s no longer fun for a bully when the person being picked on just says “You’re right, I’m a nerd. And I’m OK with that.”
Thoughts Are Not Facts.
The same idea can be applied to your OCD bully. If your OCD bully says, “You’re probably dying of cancer”, rather than rationalizing, seeking reassurance, or distracting, try sitting with the thought and anxiety for a moment. The thought is just a group of words, not a fact, and does not have to have any true meaning. Try saying to yourself the words that cause you fear and accepting them, for example: “OK, I’m probably dying of cancer”. Saying words or thoughts out loud do not cause them to be more likely to come true. Over time, your OCD bully will realize that the thoughts it is putting in your mind don’t scare you as much as they used to, and ideally they will fade away in frequency and the anxiety experienced will be reduced. These techniques are a part of Exposure and Response Prevention therapy, or ERP, which is a form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
Take the next step
If you or someone you know struggles with OCD and is interested in working toward quieting that invisible bully, reach out to a therapist who specializes in Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and ERP. This therapeutic process should only be attempted with the help of a qualified mental health professional and can help lead you in the direction toward finally finding peace.
About The Author - Jennifer Hanson, LCSW
Jennifer Hanson is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Owner/Therapist at Finding Peace Counseling Center in The Woodlands, TX. Jennifer’s specialties include treating anxiety disorders, depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder and she works with Individuals, couples and teens (Age 14 and up). For more information on obsessive compulsive disorder or any related issues, contact Finding Peace Counseling Center today by calling 832-306-2969 or email info@findingpeacecc.com for more information. you can also schedule an appointment now by visiting the Finding Peace Counseling Center website.